give a new or different definition…

I feel completely empowered by the definition of “Redefine”, To give a New or Different Definition. Which than lead me to read the definition of “New” ~ Not before seen or known, although Existing Before; Lately Manifested; Recently Discovered.

There were so many years I hid behind the pain of  the childhood sexual abuse. I was unesy in my own body, I literally carried around the cloak of shame. When I was 12 years old, my body was changing due to puberty, I had started my menstruel cycle and I had decided that I was going to wear a burgandy trench coat. I wore the trench coat, everyday, ALL day, even when I was asleep. I was teased, laughed at, and asked by my Mom to remove it, in which I refused. She could not understand why on earth I  insisted on wearing the full length, to the knee, buttoned and belted up burgandy trench coat. This was my way of protecting myself from the abuse. But unfortunately, he had already touched my soul. Please take a moment to read the following poem,

Depths of my heart ~ What do I see in the depths of my heart? But a child so pure, innocent and set apart, Apart from the filth and innocence robbed, Apart from the trusting hands that cradled her soul, Took her aside and stole what was not theirs. Apart from lullabies and stories untold, unanswered questions and secrets held close. Open the window and depart I say, Free the bird out of her cage. Copyright ©2007 Denise Boyd

Though the days of wearing the burgandy trench coat are behind me, years later, at times I found myself continuing to wear an “invisible” trench coat. Being completly uneasy in my own body, as if I didn’t belong in the very skin I carried around daily. I work very hard to change my perception of myself and have learned to love  who I am becoming and am embracing every bit of the change coming forth in ME. I urge you to have the courage to Redefine yourself and to allow the “New” you to arise.

Denise Boyd Copyright ©