Oh where..oh where..could it be?

What is the most precious thing you have ever lost? Really..take a moment and remember how you felt when you lost it..now..how did it make you feel?

For me, that question brought chills down my spine as I never have completly recovered from losing my most precious possession.

When an item is lost, you find yourself frantically looking EVERYWHERE. You look high and low,  above and beneath, between and around, just about every crack and crevice will be inspected. You track and retrack every step, going in circles, just hoping that it will turn up.

You begin to question yourself and think that possibly you never had it in the first place and maybe you left the item safely tucked away at home.

But reality sets in when you truly realize that the item is nowhere to be found.

When I was a child, my innocence was lost taken. The moment I was violated….my life changed.

Years after the incidents of being molested as a child and raped at the age of 14.  I lived in a whirlwind aftermath of always “looking for something”.

In my teenage years,  I needed attention and was constantly looking to men for validation. Sex became a major motivator in my quest for acceptance and love.

The countless names or faces of every partner is difficult to recollect. During the “act” I emotionally removed myself and became simply a vessel for someone else’s satisfaction.

Today…the searching has been replaced with “recovering” as I continue on my journey to healing.

FAITH…it does not make things easy..it makes them possible. Luke 1:37