Tag: family
I was attacked
at the very core
of my being and
was told to end it.
That I was not going to
live past the depression,
the anxiety and the tremendous
amount of pain.
The lies, and self hatred
tried to overshadow every ounce
of hope and faith
I previously held onto.
Even though I walk through the
darkest valley…
Fragmented pieces of the
memories came flashing
back as I tried to piece them
together and make sense
of the realization that these
were not nightmares but
factual suppressed recollections.
I will fear no evil…for you are with me….
It was too much!
I felt as if I was literally being
ripped from the inside out.
Every part of my body ached
as I exposed the truth and
walked through the dark
murkiness of my past.
You protect and guide me,
and I find comfort as you console me…
In my despair,
I wept, as I released the pain.
You are repairing all the damage
that was done to me,
and restoring the deepest,
most real part of me.
Lord, my strength and hope, comes from you.
(*Psalm 23)
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Words that are silenced are lethal….
Words that are silenced, are lethal secrets to destroy your soul. Speak your truth.
Many times it’s hard to remember the exact details of all the great memories that my Mom and I shared in my childhood. The confusion and pain of being sexually abused as a child, tried to overshadow the good times.
For so many years, I was afraid to tell anyone because I thought that they wouldn’t believe me. I blamed myself and carried the shame of those secrets.
When I was 40 years old, I told my Mom that I had been molested & raped as a teenager…and she believed me. She then asked me to forgive her for not protecting me.
I fell to the ground, as I weeped and screamed from the depths of my soul, every ounce of pain that had been confined was being released, as she quietly and lovingly held me.
She then, told me that she too was sexually abused as a child. This moment, yet painful was the beginning of much healing in our relationship.
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Not believing the hype of wearing an “S” on my chest..
Like many of you Mom’s out there,
At times, I struggle with balancing life’s demands.
Tackling multiple projects at home and work, juggling hectic schedules and commitments..trying to meet the needs of my children, husband, friends and extended family.
Proudly announcing to whoever will listen, that I AM WOMAN!
Running around, pounding the “S” on my chest, with my eyes bugged out, looking less like the sexy SuperWoman, but more like a frazzled, stressed out Mama in need of a pedicure.
While listening way too much to the little voice that whispers..your never going to be good enough.. therefore..keeping me trapped in the lie of never measuring up to the woman, that I have put on that unrealistic platform of perfection.
Ouch..it hurts to read those words. You see…as easy as it is to place the blame on someone else, I had to admit, that I choose to live this way.
You see, from the time I was a little girl, I had this overwhelming need to be needed.
So as an adult, I had to stop and recognize the unhealthy behavior that continues to try to hinder my healing.
Today, I am believeing that my value and worth is based on WHO I AM and not because of what I can do.
~ xoxo Denise
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Please join me in sharing the following video. Social network has a way of spreading information out quickly, please reblog, post, tweet, facebook, email, etc! Thank you ahead of time for doing YOUR part in bringing Awareness to END Childhood Sexual Abuse.
~ Denise ~ No Longer Held Captive..By My Childhood Secrets
~By breaking my silence, I am no longer giving power to the pain~
Today, I want to encourage you to break your silence and declare that you
Are No Longer Held Captive..By Your Childhood Secrets..
May your temporary sorrow, lead you to Triumphant Victory ~ Denise
Everyone Has A Story..
Please watch this Amazing Video created by Shelly Brown. May her story bless you as it did me…
EVERYONE HAS A STORY..
No longer held captive..
~By breaking my silence, I am no longer giving power to the pain~
Today, I want to encourage you to break your silence and declare that you
Are No Longer Held Captive..By Your Childhood Secrets..
May your temporary sorrow, lead you to Triumphant Victory ~ Denise
Oh..the tangled web we weave..
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive” ~ Sir Walter Scott
Children are most likely to be sexually abused by someone they know and trust…
This statement rings true in my own life. You see, I was molested by people who were closely involved in my life. There were no initial red flags saying “danger”. I was taught to fear strangers, you know, to be afraid of the scary looking bad guy who might try to snatch me on the way to school. But I was not taught to be afraid of my childcare center teachers who required me and the other kids to remove our clothes, to take a nap. Or to be afraid of my friend’s relative who sneaked into the bedroom at night to fondle me. Or to be afraid of my babysitter’s daughter who would molest me in her closet. In each of these incidents, I was a little girl who had no reason to fear these trusted authority figures… until they touched me. My life went from normal to out of control. I did not feel safe in my own body. I no longer believed that I could be loved. I no longer looked to adults as a safe haven. Every relationship’s motive was questioned. I became withdrawn, would stop eating and would be called “bratty”. I went from the bubbly little girl, to a little girl who just didn’t know where she fit in.
The deceit was presented to me little by little, laced in a pretty little box full of “good” things. When I was showered with love, attention and kindess, it gave me every reason to trust them. The powerful tools of deception forced me to keep the secret hidden.
The weight of this bondage was tremendous but once I was able to reveal the TRUTH, than, I was able to walk in the direction of healing and restoration.
Believing the truth…first starts with admitting the truth.
It took me 40 years to share my childhood sexual abuse and rape story, and on April 5, 2012, it was the beginning of my NEW Story.