No longer held captive by chaos…

Fast talking,

heart pumping

overthinking

everything.

This nervous energy

was driven by

an attempt

to hide behind

the inability

to trust,

even my

own instincts.

Trauma

groomed me

into believing

that I was nothing

outside of what

I did for others.

Unknowingly,

it kept

me bound,

to things out of

my control.

I’ve learned,

to walk away

from the chaos,

and to step

into my

true authentic self.

For there is where,

I am happy,

and for there is where,

I am free.

~Denise

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…over-thinking

Train your thoughts

to turn from the

self-depriving,

time consuming,

over-thinking,

words that continue to replay

continually in your own mind.

Free yourself

from what you

could’ve

would’ve

should’ve

said.

indulging

in the cares

and concerns

of what others think,

is self-contained

punishment.

Free yourself

from allowing those

racing thoughts

to run carelessly

throughout each corner

of your own mind.

Free yourself…

you have the authority

to command,

anxiety to be still.

~ Denise

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is steadfast, because they trust in you.”

– Isaiah 26:3

No longer held captive by…fear

She is called my beloved.

intentionally…

strategically…

unapologetically…

fighting for her freedom.

through the self-defeating,

misrepresentation of an

unwelcomed

unannounced visitor,

who goes by the name of…

“the former self-doubting version” of herself.

she sits quietly

crouched between

“who I used to be”…

and

“who I am now”…

as she anticipates the arrival of,

“who I’m becoming”.

she is called my beloved.

endlessly…

evolving…

and transforming

from the lies that lay

dormant between the confines

of her own mind,

and other’s restrictive insecurities.

she is called my beloved.

courageously crafting her next move,

determined to win this battle gracefully…

she is called my beloved.

step by step,

she painfully

pulls back each layer,

and exposes

the truth…

unmasked.

she is called my beloved.

her new identity,

outweighs the former entanglement of despair.

she is called my beloved.

branded with the heart of a lion…

she fearlessly arises.

She is called my Beloved,

and I am she.

xoxo – Denise

Words that are silenced, are lethal secrets to destroy your soul. Speak your truth.💗

Redefine..to give a new or different definition…

I feel completely empowered by the definition of “Redefine”, To give a New or Different Definition. Which than lead me to read the definition of “New” ~ Not before seen or known, although Existing Before; Lately Manifested; Recently Discovered.

There were so many years I hid behind the pain of  the childhood sexual abuse. I was unesy in my own body, I literally carried around the cloak of shame. When I was 12 years old, my body was changing due to puberty, I had started my menstruel cycle and I had decided that I was going to wear a burgandy trench coat. I wore the trench coat, everyday, ALL day, even when I was asleep. I was teased, laughed at, and asked by my Mom to remove it, in which I refused. She could not understand why on earth I  insisted on wearing the full length, to the knee, buttoned and belted up burgandy trench coat. This was my way of protecting myself from the abuse. But unfortunately, he had already touched my soul. Please take a moment to read the following poem,

Depths of my heart ~ What do I see in the depths of my heart? But a child so pure, innocent and set apart, Apart from the filth and innocence robbed, Apart from the trusting hands that cradled her soul, Took her aside and stole what was not theirs. Apart from lullabies and stories untold, unanswered questions and secrets held close. Open the window and depart I say, Free the bird out of her cage. Copyright ©2007 Denise Boyd

Though the days of wearing the burgandy trench coat are behind me, years later, at times I found myself continuing to wear an “invisible” trench coat. Being completly uneasy in my own body, as if I didn’t belong in the very skin I carried around daily. I work very hard to change my perception of myself and have learned to love  who I am becoming and am embracing every bit of the change coming forth in ME. I urge you to have the courage to Redefine yourself and to allow the “New” you to arise.

Denise Boyd Copyright ©