It’s ok…

Healing doesn’t happen linear, it ebbs and flows and many days I’m battling my mindset as I demolish thoughts that try to set off my anxiety. There are many days when I can smile and genuinely say “today’s a good day” and then there are days when I can barely get out of bed, and yet choose to say “today is a good day…to…rest. Both days are good, it’s all about my perspective and how I choose to respond to my circumstances.

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

#nolongerheldcaptive

Celebrating a day in history…

Wearing pearls & Celebrating the History making of our Madam Vice President Kamala Harris 🖤🤎🤍💛❤️

I will not be silenced…

My voice matters.

My opinion matters.

My words matter.

My thoughts matter.

What I have to say matters.

How I feel matters.

My questions matter.

My disagreeing with you matters.

Standing up for myself matters.

Speaking up matters.

What I like matters.

What I don’t like matters.

Telling my jokes matter.

Telling my story matters.

My choice matters.

My dreams matter.

My disappointments matter.

My goals matter.

My style matters.

Being comfortable in my own skin matters.

Being confident matters.

Being unsure at times, matters.

Taking my time to process my feelings matters.

Being sad matters.

Being happy matters.

Being angry matters.

Laughing out loud matters.

My smile matters.

My quirkiness matters.

My “no” matters.

My “yes” matters.

Saying exactly what I mean matters.

Having boundaries matter.

Being kind to myself matters.

Being kind to others matters.

Practicing self-care matters.

Loving freely matters.

My brown skin matters.

Being myself, even when others say it’s “too much” matters.

Being free spirited matters.

Letting go of what I can’t control matters.

Liking myself matters.

Loving myself matters.

I matter.

~ denise marie

lean into his presence…

This week I was feeling a lot of anxiety. Between the pandemic, friends and family battling sickness, the loss of so many lives, the violence, the financial struggles of many, racial injustice and the chaos in our nation, I found myself struggling to hold onto my peace. My emotions fluctuating from sadness, to anger, to fear as I battled my own thoughts to bring my mindset back to a place of peace.

Then I heard a still small voice that said, “Lean into his presence.”. At that very moment I knew he was calling me to him.

One of my favorite lyrics in a song by Elevation Worship goes,

“In Your presence there is freedom
In Your presence there is hope
In Your presence there is healing
Love restores me, I am whole”.

In my moments of distress, I am learning as I lean into his presence, my anxiety surrenders to Him.

Lean into his presence.

~ denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

**side note**: I am a firm believer in Jesus and Therapy! God provides us with resources that if we are willing, can come alongside us and help us in our journey. My regular appointments with my therapist and support from my sponsor in Celebrate Recovery, are vital parts of my healing!💗

a hope deferred…

I recently met up on zoom with two friends that I have known for 35 years. Though our life had taken us different directions and we tried to talk over the phone occasionally, but us three haven’t been together in one place for 27 years, we quickly were able to pick back up where we left off and that same connection that brought us together 35 years ago was naturally the same connection we had on the zoom call. We laughed and cried as we reminisced, caught each other up on our life and made plans to get together on zoom regularly.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

After our call, in the middle of the night, I woke up and clearly heard the words “a hope deferred”. I knew exactly in that moment what God was trying to tell me.

For years I had longed to be in touch with these two friends, missing them, needing them, allowing feelings of rejection or unrealistic expectations of them to cause me to create scenarios in my mind that were not accurate. Looking back, simply picking up the phone, to let them know how I felt, would’ve put an end to my questions or to scenarios which were not accurate. Reconnecting with my friends fulfilled the longing in my heart and brought me so much joy.

So if you are sitting on the sidelines, watching an old friend or even a family member live their life through the lens of social media but afraid to reach out and really reconnect, I want to encourage you to pick up the phone and let them know you care. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, It’s not too late to let someone know you miss them, or that your sorry and that you love them.

~ denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

Living in uncertain times…but there is hope.

A little break from writing poetry as I heal. I am sure I will be inspired soon with words of encouragement and hope as I reflect on my current situation. 💕

A reminder to always listen to your body….I was discharged from the hospital yesterday and am home recovering and resting.

Went to the ER with shortness of breath and extreme chest pain. After a Cat scan, I was diagnosed with a blood clot in my right lung (pulmonary embolism). I still have a recovery/healing journey ahead of me, but am praising God because I am here to tell you my story!

Since this happened, I have been battling with some anxiety and some fear, but reading God’s promises, praying, listening to worship, and talking to family and friends have been a huge help!

Some scriptures that have strengthened me and reminded me to focus on hope are the following:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  – Psalm 56:3

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” – Psalm 27:1

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”…He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you…For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways…“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him…” – Psalm 91:1-16

Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

Denise🌸

Throwing stones…

❤️We love, because He first loved us. – 1 John 4:19❤️

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

#nolongerheldcaptive