April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Please join me in sharing the following video. Social network has a way of spreading information out quickly, please reblog, post, tweet, facebook, email, etc! Thank you ahead of time for doing YOUR part in bringing Awareness to END Childhood Sexual Abuse.
~ Denise ~ No Longer Held Captive..By My Childhood Secrets

No longer held captive

~By breaking my silence, I am no longer giving power to the pain~

Today, I want to encourage you to break your silence and declare that you

Are No Longer Held Captive..By Your Childhood Secrets..

May your temporary sorrow, lead you to Triumphant Victory ~ Denise

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Oh..the tangled web we weave..

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive” ~ Sir Walter Scott

Children are most likely to be sexually abused by someone they know and trust…

This statement rings true in my own life. You see, I was molested by people who were closely involved in my life. There were no initial red flags saying “danger”.  I was taught to fear strangers, you know, to be afraid of the scary looking bad guy who might try to snatch me on the way to school. But I was not taught to be afraid of my childcare center teachers who required me and the other kids to remove our clothes, to take a nap. Or to be afraid of my friend’s relative who sneaked into the bedroom at night to fondle me. Or to be afraid of my babysitter’s daughter who would molest me in her closet. In each of these incidents, I was a little girl who had no reason to fear these trusted authority figures… until they touched me. My life went from normal to out of control. I did not feel safe in my own body. I no longer believed that I could be loved. I no longer looked to adults as a safe haven. Every relationship’s motive was questioned. I became withdrawn, would stop eating and would be called “bratty”. I went from the bubbly little girl, to a little girl who just didn’t know where she fit in.

The deceit was presented to me little by little, laced in a pretty little box full of “good” things. When I was showered with love, attention and kindess, it gave me every reason to trust them. The powerful tools of deception forced me to keep the secret hidden.

The weight of this bondage was tremendous but once I was able to reveal the TRUTH, than, I was able to walk in the direction of healing and restoration.

Believing the truth…first starts with admitting the truth.

It took me 40 years to share my childhood sexual abuse and rape story, and on April 5, 2012, it was the beginning of my NEW Story.

 

It’s a 2 bowls of ice cream kind of day….

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Sitting on the lazy boy this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I glance over my left shoulder and see the results of my love of ice cream….uuuggghhhh….emotional eating at its finest…
I could not figure out what was triggering me to scarf down half of the cookies and cream AND orange sherbert in one sitting? I wanted to quickly discard of the evidence so the kids and hubby would not know that Mom ate so much of the carton. But..it was too late, they already knew it was in the freezer and they would be looking for it after dinner. My weakness will be exposed, I might as well prepare myself to face the music and possible blank looks of disbelief that Mom could actually devour that much ice cream! At this point, I can only laugh at myself to keep from crying.
What is wrong with me? Our morning was wonderful, the message at church was incredible. Our Pastor spoke about Abraham and Sarah. As I sat there taking notes and embracing every word he said, I felt as if he was speaking directly to me. Thats it…the emotional binge eating this afternoon is a direct response to my anxious emotions of what I know I have to be obediant in. God is working on my heart and I have to change if I want to see changes in my life…ouch…sometimes it really bites to realize “we are not in control” of our EVERYTHING, and in order to allow God to work in our lives, we have to truly Let Go and Trust Him. As much as I thought I was trusting Him, I was controlling so many areas and people in my life, how could I expect God to do His work if I was in the way? I was giving God my problems, but I was also giving Him MY solution…
I was overcome with emotion when I could finally “see” that I was in the way of what God is trying to do in my life. I took a moment in prayer and asked God to forgive me. And I asked Him to Lead my Journey…