I was attacked

at the very core

of my being and

was told to end it.

That I was not going to

live past the depression,

the anxiety and the tremendous

amount of pain.

The lies, and self hatred

tried to overshadow every ounce

of hope and faith

I previously held onto.

Even though I walk through the

darkest valley…

Fragmented pieces of the

memories came flashing

back as I tried to piece them

together and make sense

of the realization that these

were not nightmares but

factual suppressed recollections.

I will fear no evil…for you are with me….

It was too much!

I felt as if I was literally being

ripped from the inside out.

Every part of my body ached

as I exposed the truth and

walked through the dark

murkiness of my past.

You protect and guide me,

and I find comfort as you console me…

In my despair,

I wept, as I released the pain.

You are repairing all the damage

that was done to me,

and restoring the deepest,

most real part of me.

Lord, my strength and hope, comes from you.

(*Psalm 23)

~ denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

Choosing to surrender…

Anxiety and fear had been a thief, literally stealing my joy. It jumbled up my thoughts, and caused my heart to race, leaving me with many sleepless nights and a just below the surface agitation that made me want to crawl out of my skin and run away.

The last two years have been life altering and I am learning what it means to release my need to control and to put my complete trust in God. There are good days and difficult ones, but I choose to take things, one step at a time, as I receive His peace.

Peace I leave with you, my Peace I give you. Not as the world gives. Don’t let your hearts be troubled and don’t be afraid.

John 14.27.

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…isolation

I lost a close friend this week.

My heart hurts as I battled with thoughts of “why didn’t I call her on Friday”, “why wasn’t I there to check on her when she needed me?”

Then in a quiet voice, God quickly reminded me that HE was there.

In an instant I began to celebrate all of our deep conversations about God and how much she loved him, our laughing at the silliest of things until we cried hysterically. The dinners, the kids parties, our funny dance moves, the cries on each other’s shoulders and the bear hugs that reminded each other that no matter what, everything was gonna be alright.

This loss, is devastating on so many levels especially for her sweet children, spouse, family and close friends.

But in the midst of these tears, more than ever I want to encourage you to reach out for help if you need it, your not alone and isolation is a breeding ground for lies, deception and defeat.

Reach out and tell someone…

anyone…that you need help.

I guarantee you, that you are not forgotten, and there is hope.💗

~ Denise xoxo