Why…I’m No longer held captive.

No longer held captive comes from the concept of freeing yourself from any and everything that no longer honors you. And many…many times…that includes self sabotage 🙋🏽‍♀️. No longer believing the lies that I believed about myself.

The lies that I coveted, that if I held onto these things long enough, that I would receive an award for the “woman of the year” for the one who could who hold onto the damaging affects of the abuse that happened to her as a child or hold onto the shame of relationship betrayal and the gut wrenching pain of rebuilding a rocky marriage.

The 30lb weight gain that makes me miserable because of a chronic illness diagnosis & medication. The previous years of yo-yo dieting and portraying the face of “perfection” in spite of hiding an eating disorder from the world. Almost four years ago, hitting rock bottom and going to a recovery program and facing the fact that I truly am “powerless” over the things that are out of my control…learning what it really means to, walk by faith.

Walking away from a career at the University and at almost 50 years old, having to re-create myself.

Facing the anxiety, depression & ptsd and finally accepting the advice of my therapist who encourages me to get off the merry go round and really start to deal with the layers of pain that I have suppressed behind the mask of “I’m ok”.

The learning how to find joy in Be-ing instead of selling my soul to always doing. The upholding of healthy boundaries and learning to say NO to people who try to suck me dry of all my creative juices.

It’s learning to rest when fatigue takes over and choosing not to fall into the guilt factor abyss. And….when guilt tries to show it’s ugly head, letting it know, that your no longer welcomed here.

This my friend, is the evolving journey of being “No longer held captive”.💗

~denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

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