These images and video clips were taken last weekend in Seattle.
When I visit, I often have a need to go to the water. There is so much peace I find in its presence.
“Thank You God for making it possible for me to experience peace at all times. Because You gave us Your Son, I always have a way to know and experience You. There is nothing that can separate me from Your loving presence”.
– denise marie
It took me a minute to settle down and calm my anxiety, but once I did my words flowed.
Writing and reading my poetry is good for my soul.
Titled, “Engulfed fully by his love”. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Today..
I encourage you
to bravely,
peel back,
each layer,
revealing
the deep roots
of secrets that
have been gracefully
hidden.
In this place,
is where YOU have
remained concealed
beneath the pain
of your untold stories.
Surrender…
and allow
Gods love
and grace
to heal this
sacred space
in which you’ve
kept sealed.
– denise marie
Writing Poetry is truly one of my passions, it feels amazing to release words that at times have been hidden beneath insecurities, allowing my creativity to flow, sure does bring me joy.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved writing, reading and listening to poetry. It was a common occurrence to see me with a pen and pad of paper jotting down my thoughts and eagerly reading them to my Mom. Looking through boxes in the storage closet, it’s fun to find journals filled with poems I’ve written as a child or teen. Recently I was looking through my yearbooks from high school and to my surprise (1987 was a long time ago.. lol! I had forgotten about this) I saw a poem I had written my Senior year in the yearbook.
Maya Angelou has always been an inspiration and I hope to one day publish my own book of poetry.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
What I would say to my younger self…
You have the gift to
powerfully shine light
on darkness,
to set captives free
by the stroke of your
own pen.
– denise marie
No matter the circumstances of your past or what you may be currently facing, God says that he is able to use your gifts, your voice, your words, your life….to encourage others and give them hope.
I want to encourage YOU to show up in whatever space you are in and be your true authentic self, allowing your presence to make a difference in this world!
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
I wanted to share with you my poem titled “her own crown of beauty”. My prayer is that you no longer hide or shrink, but are comfortable in your own skin, accepting your own crown of beauty.💗
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
I am learning that it is ok to take a deep breath,
and then slowly exhale as I gently smile at the
woman that I’m looking at in the mirror.
I’m encouraging her with words of love,
self acceptance and much grace.
– denise marie
I decided to get out of my comfort zone and nervously read one of my poems in front of the camera.
Speaking in public or in front of a camera, causes me some anxiety and I normally find myself completely overthinking, being self-critical and sometimes talking myself out of it.
But not tonight.
I sat in my living room, didn’t fuss with the perfect application of makeup or the correct lighting. I just went for it….and because I did, it was a huge breakthrough for me!
You see, after surviving the pulmonary embolism, I struggled with the affects in my mind, emotions, and body. My brain seemed to be a bit different, very foggy, easily overwhelmed/overstimulated and anxiety. I struggled and sometimes still struggle with terrible fatigue, hair loss and extra weight gain. These things had began to mess with my confidence and I found myself beginning to hide a bit and shrink back from doing things that I used to do much easier in the past.
Being in my 50’s and a survivor of…well an overcomer of so many different challenges in my life, (past childhood trauma, stress etc.) I realize that it’s ok to not always be ok, but it’s not ok to be stuck in my circumstances. Taking things one day at a time, allows me to remove unrealistic expectations and letting go of my own pressure of perfectionism, the need to please others and making space for plenty of love and grace. Healing is a process and I am choosing to be present, every step of the way.
My hope is that I continue to show up and do things that make me uncomfortable.
This not so simple act of getting out of my own head, and doing things even if I am afraid or nervous is truly liberating.
Thanks for sharing this moment with me, it means a lot!
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
In 2020 I survived a Pulmonary Embolism, it was such a stressful, painful and scary time.
Since then, I’ve learned to really listen to my body and prioritize my mental, physical and spiritual health.
Visiting the beach with my family is one of my favorite things to do.
Walking on the sand, the smell of salt water, the breeze and watching the waves completely relaxes me and brings me joy.
I am truly grateful for the gift of life.
– denise marie
When anxiety heightens,
and worry tries to consume me.
In these moments I cry out to God and I’m quickly reminded of his promises.
He said he will never leave me or forsake me, my strong tower where I can find safety.
My rock, my refuge, my fortress and my hope.
His love protects me, surrounds me and never fails me.
This is where I find my peace and place my trust in him.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
A few years ago, I was standing here watching the sunset.
I could hardly contain the flood of emotions that took over me.
I felt so small in its presence, the vastness of the evening sky and the depths of the Pacific Northwest Sound had me honoring the Creator of such astounding beauty.
As I stood there, I was surrounded in peace, and immersed completely in Gods love.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
You have the gift to
powerfully shine light
on darkness,
to set captives free
by the stroke of your
own pen.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16
Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Each day brings a promise of something new…
be present and hold space…for gratitude.
– denise marie
This is the day the Lord has made. let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
I tested positive for Covid 19 on Saturday. The last few days have been extremely overwhelming and it seems as if I’ve experienced many of the symptoms on the list. When things got a bit scary I contacted my Doctor and due to my health risk factors, I was able to go to the hospital for an Monoclonal Antibodies Infusion.
When I arrived to the hospital I was told to wait outside and a nurse in PPE would come and get me. Soon after my arrival the nurse came and had me follow her to a “not for the public” side door into a stairwell which took me to a door that led to a long hallway and into a conference room that was section off by plastic.
It was only I and the nurse in this room and as much as she tried to make me feel comfortable, it was a bit eerie.
She did the basics; temperature check, blood pressure check, oxygen levels using a pulse oximeter then went on to explain the details of the infusion. Soon after, I received my infusion in my left arm and after an hour and a half my husband picked me up from the hospital and went home.
The following day after my infusion, I still struggled with many Covid symptoms, but my fever finally broke. SO very grateful!
Today is day 5 and I’m still testing positive. Its been hard to be quarantined and feeling lousy in my room away from my family, But I’m happy to say that my symptoms are improving! I believe that the infusion has really helped my body to continue to fight this virus.
Being in my room quarantined, it’s amazing how the mind plays tricks on you. I really had to pray, reach out to my family and watch uplifting & funny shows on tv to stay encouraged. So glad this is only temporary.
To be intentionally loved is a gift from God.
I received these beautiful flowers from my husband. He, my kids & family have been so encouraging and loving as I heal and rest. I’m blessed to have family near while I’m quarantined and recovering.
Tomorrow is a new day and I’m looking forward to a negative test and complete recovery soon!
Thank you Jesus for your love, protection and healing💗
I just wanted to send a word of encouragement out to those who are feeling weary, feeling as if they have been fighting this battle for way too long. When the thought of standing up to the health challenges, loneliness, financial strain, grief, depression, anxiety, any circumstance or situation that may have you feeling like you can’t continue on. I want you to know that you are not alone. That there is hope and help is near.
There were many days in my life that if I could just believe that it was possible for me to “just keep standing” I could. To just keep standing wasn’t necessarily always physical but yet mentally and emotionally.
On those hard days, I would call a trusted friend or family member for support, or I would schedule an appointment with my therapist. I would attend a Recovery meeting when those memories of past trauma were just too much.
And…I would go to God in prayer and read His Word, one of my favorite chapters I would read daily is Psalm 91 in which I would literally say out loud, “God you are my refuge, I know that I can trust in you, you are my strength and I am safe.”
Today, my hope and prayer is that you can “Just keep standing”.
***For immediate help please call or text the following Mental Health & Crisis line at: 988
– denise marie💗
Serenity is a welcomed friend,
who embraced my soul
with healing.
– denise marie
While visiting Washington State. My brother-in-law brought us to this beautiful serene location just outside of Tacoma. As we walked along the trail surrounded by tall tree’s we immediately were immersed by peace as we basked in its presence.
I recently took a drive with two of my kids to a beautiful beachfront in Northern California called Dillon Beach.
Being at the Ocean, I feel free! Laughing so hard as I skip around the beach, searching for seashells and taking in every detail of its beauty.. What a gift to be treasured…it will always be my happy place. 💙
I cherish the surreal vastness of the sunset in all its shades of oranges and reds alongside blues with yellows. I give thanks and honor every lesson that my day brought me. I forgive those who tried to make me feel small and I forgive myself for allowing disappointment or unrealistic expectations to rule over my peace of mind. I choose to acknowledge my hurt, process my feelings and forgive.
I welcome the darkness of the night sky as I find rest and replenish my body, knowing that in the morning I will be greeted by the light of day.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
I am in awe of the glorious sunrise as it casts its golden hue across the morning sky. As I look around, I see the beauty around me and embrace the gift of life.
I choose to live my life fully and contently as I continue to grow, learn, love and honor its sacredness.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
YOU matter….
Even when you feel like no one notices or cares. Your presence on this Earth is important…your voice, your opinion, your ideas, your disappointments, your shortcomings, your accomplishments, your defeats, your best qualities and your worst character defects, your talents, your stories, your laughter, your hugs, your smile. Every aspect of YOU, is a gift to this world. You are valued, cherished and needed.
And even when it doesn’t always feel like it…
I encourage you to grab on and hold tight to this truth…YOU are loved…overwhelmingly loved, undeniably loved, forever loved.💗
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Holding space means that you are reserving your energy to be emotionally and mentally present for yourself or others in a safe, nonjudgemental environment.
It means, setting boundaries so that you can protect your peace. Setting aside time to tune into your needs and become more self-aware. It means that you are giving yourself space to be yourself fully without judgment. To listen to your mind and body and support yourself in the best way you can.
Ways you could practice holding space for yourself could be:
• Schedule time in your regular routine to journal how you’re feeling
• Setting reminders on your phone to periodically check in with your physical and emotional state, whatever it may be, from a place of nonjudgemental loving awareness
• Practicing mindfulness, praying, meditation or breathing exercises
• Engaging in any form of self-kindness – realizing you are human and that the emotions and feelings that come with that are something to embrace, not reject or feel guilty about.
– from https://lenasamford.com/how-to-hold-space-for-yourself-and-others/
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
It’s ok to rise….from anything or anyone who makes you feel small, unheard, not seen or valued.
Always remember that your voice, your story and your very existence matters.💗
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
When I stopped trying to fill up
every space within me with busyness,
stillness became a welcomed friend
who embraced my soul with healing.
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
There was a time, that I didn’t identify with the one who stared at me daily in the mirror.
Sometimes I didn’t like her, other times I felt like I didn’t really know her and many times didn’t understand her. She found herself lost between living to please others and resenting her continued self-sacrifice, even at the cost of her well being.
Ultimately betraying herself.
Numerous times she tried to free her true self, but found it difficult to come out from under the deep despair of childhood trauma and shame.
Today, she realizes it’s ok to choose Her.
She now, carefully cradles her heart, whispering powerful words of truth dripped in non-judgmental love and grace.
She is no longer hidden beneath the layers of trauma, she is emerging, growing and nurturing each space within the weight of her being.
She no longer identifies as an outsider, but acknowledges Her name.
The name her Mother, lovingly graced her with in 1969.
Her name is Denise Marie and I am her.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Painting brings me a sense of peace. It allows me to free my mind and to be present.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Healing doesn’t happen linear, it ebbs and flows and many days I’m battling my mindset as I demolish thoughts that try to set off my anxiety. There are many days when I can smile and genuinely say “today’s a good day” and then there are days when I can barely get out of bed, and yet choose to say “today is a good day…to…rest. Both days are good, it’s all about how I choose to respond to my circumstances.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
What does it take to be free from
the theatrical soliloquies
of carefully pre-selected words which
fall so gracefully on the ears of
those who hunger for his presence,
yet stand at the threshold and leave empty.
Stripped away from all the “wow’s” of the crowd,
to simply being in his presence.
Seeking him as I bare it all,
before the throne of my Savior’s grace,
there is where you will find me.
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
A few months ago, I was frazzled by a situation which caused others to look at me with doubting glares and accusing words that began by a simple misunderstanding.
Not being understood and discredited stirred up deep rooted memories from my childhood of not being believed when I told a trusted adult that I had been abused. At 11 years old, my self-esteem immediately plummeted as my worth was devalued deeply beneath the open wound of keeping the abuse a secret. My humanity was denied access to protection. I suffered emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally, internalizing my pain, suppressing my feelings and silenced my voice.
I didn’t talk about it again, until I was 40 years old.
This recent situation, caused me to gravel as I continuously explained myself over and over again only to be looked at as if I wasn’t telling the truth.
My mind raced as my anger grew causing me to want to lash out at the ones who didn’t believe me.
The little girl in me was spiraling out of control, in that moment, I felt helpless.
Instead of using old self destructive ways of coping, I applied tools I’ve learned and communicated my feelings to those who misunderstood me, and I spoke my truth. We were able to clear up the confusion and move forward.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and unfortunately there are millions of survivors in the United States and around the World who are suffering from the affects of sexual assault, it is so important that we speak out against sexual assault and put an end to it.
If you are a survivor I want to let you know that, I believe you, healing is possible and there is hope.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
I’ve learned to celebrate when I WIN over the urge to shrink, and instead choose to shine.✨
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Have you ever just let go?
Really let go of who you thought
you were to be,
to simply just becoming.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Painting has been an imperative creative outlet in my healing process.
No agenda, no expectations, no right or wrong, just simply being present.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive 